The Brilliance of Break-Ups

Something interesting happens when two people undergo an amicable break-up, yet continue to live in the same house. Here's our list o' week:

1. Your secret stash of CD-Rs? VIOLATED. You won't say anything because it's possible you used them all and just forgot, but you still have your suspicions.
2. Cleaning is done by no one. Who? No one.
3. The Person Who Always Did Laundry is now allowed to pointedly ignore the growing pile of clothes belonging to The Person Who Has Not Done Laundry In Five Years.
4. Not only is honesty regarding your whereabouts after-hours no longer required, it's actually discouraged.
5. You remember your ex-partner has a first name, which you now enjoy using as frequently as possible (What was I calling you all those years? Silly, ridiculous things, no doubt. I had a boyfriend that used to call me shaefchen, or "little sheep." Or was he shaefchen? Maybe I was maeuschen. I can't remember.)
6. The dog gets fed twice as often and no one notices except the dog, who has grown only happier with each passing day.
7. Asking your ex to do something for you is still effective, except now there's a tiny, barely audible *sigh* thrown into the mix. This sigh may be a warning that you should Not Ask For Things So Much.
8. The sigh in #7 is met with shrugged shoulders, and does not in any way trigger a "is there something you need to... say? Out loud?" discussion. Don't tell me you don't KNOW what I'm talking about. You do. You know you do.
9. Hoo... kay. Feeding the dog double may not be good for her tiny digestive system. Must... take note. And move to a different room.
10. No number ten. This is just filler while I recuperate from the noxious fumes.