Sometimes I think I should change the title of this blog to "The Stupid Shit I Write", because if it isn't that already, it's about to turn into it. I made a pact with myself to write regardless of whether or not I have anything useful to say. It's part of my newfound stability.
Apparently, yes, I am like a child. My routine is my safety, so to speak. Fortunately, my routine includes singing many a rendition of "My Favorite Things" and of course the beloved "Taxi". This is nice for me.
Lyra asked me tonight if I am good to her. She seemed genuinely curious, so I'm guessing she didn't think of this question on her own. I told her I hoped so, that I very much want to be. Does she think I'm nice? She kissed me on the cheek and replied that she loves me very much.
I feel achy all of the time. Ache from not knowing where I stand with myself. Ache from missing Lyra. Ache from not knowing what the future holds. I know my life has gone through some bad feng shui recently, with the complete rearrangement of everything I know and letting go and settling into a new apartment, a new life, a new skin. I long for the days when "problem" was singular, not a tangled knot of many. And yet I don't regret a thing.
My sister gave a speech about regret once, at her high school graduation. I only know this because my mother paraphrases it often, meaning she says, "You know that thing your sister said about regret at her high school graduation? I think you should think about that." Except that I have no idea what she said. But I get the impression it was good. And, apparently, applicable.
So... that. Whatever she said.
4 comments:
Feng Shui traditions enlighten us that if you alter your environment to reflect your desire for something, you can increase your chances of obtaining it., This indicates that you can use Feng Shui techniques to attract love, drive your earning power to achieve success. Feng shui works because it changes your self expectations. Feng Shui gives you the idea of decorating a room in a certain fashion, allows positive energy to flow freely throughout the environment, is actually true. What ever theory you choose you will believe that feng shui works through positively reinforcing your expectations and keeping you motivated always to attain your goals and dreams.
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Feng Shui
That's funny, cause Mom reminds me of that speech all the time too, but I don't remember the speech either.
What's funnier is that I said, "Hmm. I bet if I buy a couch and arrange it just so, I'll fall in love." Instead, I fell in love, and then bought a couch.
Reverse feng shui: beautiful boyfriend = beautiful apartment.
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